So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
