Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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