So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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