the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
