try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize