i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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