toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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