Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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