he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
