Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
