You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize