I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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