Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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