I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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