Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
