Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
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I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
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Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together