Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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