If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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