it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
