Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize