4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
