she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
tequila makes me forget i have legs
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
