i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
false alarm. still invincible.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
