So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
