craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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