Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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