I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
