"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm just crazy horny about you
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Randomize
