So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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