whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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