He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
