i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
