So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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