if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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