In the future we'll all be gay
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
