So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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