He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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