my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
