So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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