did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
