Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
