One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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