He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
