walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
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