No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
