she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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