I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
