Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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