Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize