btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
