We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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