My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
