no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
