I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
