Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
