Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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