I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
