thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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