we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
