please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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