The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just had sex on a roof
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
