is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
