do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
