You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
