lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
