Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i was born a porn star she said
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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