It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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