So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
