he wants to bone in the snuggie
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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