Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
