There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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