You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We're too hungover to prance.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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